90 Day Fiance

I could’ve been on 90 Day Fiancé.

I, too considered marrying a person from another country.  He was in the USA on a work visa when we met. I was introduced to him by a friend and fell pretty hard pretty fast. He was 6'6" tall,  athletic, and the color of a banana and peanut butter smoothie.His thick Spanish accent made me weak when he spoke. He had a mild demeanor which paired well with my always-on personality. He was very affectionate.  He complimented me often and gave me the feels alright.

One afternoon, he sent me a text that almost made me drop my phone. It read:

Will you marry me?

Of course, I called him after I overcame the initial shock.  I was already aware of the fact that he had been stressing out about his work visa ending.  We had openly discussed what he would do if forced to return to the Dominican Republic. We had not, however discussed getting married. 
Honestly, this would have been a dream for me in another situation but we weren't in love. In fact, I had discovered (after some time) that he had a girl back home and they kept a relationship across the distance. He had admitted to me, one summer night, that he didn't know if he would ever return to Santo Domingo and therefore didn't think he had a future with her. I knew where I stood and 50/50 odds is not worth it. Our romance fizzled into a solid friendship but I still cared deeply for him afterwards. After fully comprehending marriage to a non-U.S. citizen,  my concerns grew. I asked him the following:

Will this be a business arrangement?  

This question upset him. I could hear the agitation in his voice. "No, we would make it work, it would be for love," he said after a few moments and a deep sigh. I thought of the couples I knew who had married in a similar situation. They were still together and appeared content as any other married-for-love couple. I thought about how I would tell my family, how he would make a living and if I would regret it. Was I really going to settle for a marriage that would begin with a proposal via text message?

TLC's 90-Day Fiance is chock full of cringe-worthy moments like the one I had years ago. I watch this show and shake my head at all the desperate-for-love oddballs who felt they had to go outside the United States to find love. I get it, don't get me wrong. Hence, the reason I shared my experience.  But, in regard to the show, let's be honest! Most of the couples' foreign significant others are substantially more attractive than their partners.  While watching Season 6 (airing now) with a friend, we found ourselves at odds. She believed that the majority of the couples featured are actually in love with each other. While, I think, that most of the couples featured are absolutely just trying to get to the U.S. by any means necessary.  I also believe, that they are willing to make it work with whomever helped provide their ticket to get here. I don't think they plan on coming to America and dumping whomever co-signed their K1 Visa. I just think that the prospect of being married to someone is, in their cases, worth coming to the U.S. to make a living. This makes the situation sound more like a business agreement than anything else. Think about it; an exchange of their love and affection to live in the land of opportunity.  Two couples (indicated in the photo below) are the only two who I believe are together for love. I wasn't 100% sure on Andrei & Elizabeth. I think Andrei could easily (just as Luis, Azan, Annie and Aika are) be willing to marry (and grow to love) Elizabeth to come to the United States. Americans tend to view marriage in a romantic delusion as this ultimate proof of your love for someone. Other countries and cultures don't see marriage that way at all. It's a contract between families for common interest or financial gain. As recently as 40 years ago, people married for beneficial reasons right here in America. 
TLC baits viewers with who will get married at the end of the 90 days, so here are my guesses...

Top Row from Left to Right: Elizabeth & Andrei, Nicole & Azan, Molly & Luis
Bottom Row from Left to Right: Evelyn & David, Annie & David, Josh & Aika

Here's the breakdown: 

Andrei (Moldova-Europe) and Elizabeth WILL GET MARRIED. They might be my favorite couple. I like that Elizabeth is respectful of his opinions and ideals. While he can be a little "much" at times, I think ultimately he is in it to love Libby and be a good husband... while chillin' stateside of course. ***His use of the word "LIKE" is annoying.

Azan (Morocco-Africa) and Nicole WILL NOT GET MARRIED.  22-year-old Nicole can't accept reality but it's pretty obvious Azan is NOT in it for love. He's admitted to only being "55%" attracted to her because of her size. Do I think he will stay with her once he's here in the United States? NOPE.

Luis (Dominican Republic-Caribbean) and Molly: WILL GET MARRIED, but shouldn't. I adore Molly but what was she thinking!? Luis is only 26, while she's 41, which is fine if you're both coming to the table with something.  She's wrong for expecting Luis to be (and want to be) an instant father of two.  Having been to the Dominican Republic more than once, I am willing to bet that Luis tried marrying other American touristas passing through his bar.  Molly was naive enough to take him up on it.  Molly seems to not have the best luck with men. She seems desperate for this one to work. There is no doubt in my mind that Luis wanted a ticket off the island of Hispaniola.  I do, believe that he is willing to keep a good relationship with Molly to cement his new lifestyle but I don't think he'll be faithful. Particularly when Molly starts inching toward her 50's and 60's and Luis is still young.  

David (Spain) and Evelyn: WILL GET MARRIED. David's sometimes brutal honesty cracks me the F up. When Evelyn accused him of being better off in the US, he laughed. David explained to her that Spain offered more advantages then living in the USA. Sorry, but globally, he's right, y'all. Evelyn is extremely immature. Truthfully, I think 18 years of age is far too young to get married. My observation is that sometimes Christian couples marry very young to keep from fornicating. It shows a great deal of commitment to one's faith but I can't help but wonder if sex should be one's motivating factor for marriage. David is mature and reasonable, but because he doesn't sugarcoat anything he comes off as a jerk. I feel like he might have some major hang ups that could surface rather quickly after the honeymoon. 

Annie (Thailand) and David: WILL (STAY) MARRIED, but shouldn't. I cannot with David. He's a broke drunk. (At least TLC's editing team makes him appears this way). Annie HAS to be just in it to move to the United States, but sadly I believe she is WILLING to make it work with him regardless. She doesn't complain most of the time and the poor thing just deals with his unfortunate situation after situation after situation. Not that money is everything but you can't bring someone to your country if you can't provide basic necessities for them. He didn't even have a place for them to stay! If I were Annie, I would head back to Thailand and start a brow care business---girlfriend's brows are on fleek. 

Aika (Philippines) and Josh: WILL GET MARRIED. Josh is fooling himself. His failed list of relationships combined with the fact that he plans to make Aika his personal trophy is ripe for disaster.  He brought her over to the states so that he would feel better about himself. So, when she is being totally shallow and demanding,  I don't feel bad for him. Both of them could benefit from researching what real LOVE is. And I don't think they should bring kids into this train wreck. Also, Josh had a vasectomy so when the OB/GYN doctor tells Aika she has a low egg count I could've thrown my shoe at the TV.  I'm still pretty sure Josh's vasectomy is a bigger hindrance to them conceiving, but I'm no doctor. 

What I am, is a wee bit opinionated. Ha. 

Binge all the 90 Day Fiance episodes at: 
 https://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/90-day-fiance/   

PS. In case you're wondering, my ex went to live with his mom on the east coast for a bit (violating his expired visa for a whole year) but ultimately returned to the Dominican Republic and married (you guessed it) his sweetheart. They have a daughter and seem happy.